III With All I Am
by INK
Summary: Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy... Both trying to fight their own demons, find themselves trying to heal the other as well... G/D, obviously...
1. Walking Away

With All I Am

Author's Note:This is the (I wish) much-awaited sequel to my previous weirdo story, _The Healer_.I was going to put Ginny with Harry, but, after much thought and philosophical discussions with myself (and not to mention long hours of staring at pictures of Draco in leather J) I decided not to.So read on, dear reader, read on!

I, of course, own nothing…

With All I Am

**Part IWalking Away**

Ginny sighed as she collapsed onto the bottom stair.She was sick and tired of what her life was becoming.Sick of being led everywhere, sick of mincing around Harry, sick of trying to tell the story of what had happened during her capture, sick, sick, _sick_ of it.

Harry Potter.Boy Wonder.The boy she had loved since the first time she had clapped eyes on him, five years before.The boy who had rescued her from Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets, four years ago.The boy who had endured captivity with her, deep within the bowels of Lord Voldemort's fortress, without decent food or sunlight for months.She had come to care about him a great deal, looking after him as he looked after her during the long months in their cell.She had held his hair back when he was sick, as he did her.He had saved her life more than once, as she had his.There was no doubt that there was a bond between them

Why, then, was did she find herself wishing she could walk away from him so often?In the weeks since returning to school, Harry had been very protective of her, walking her from class to class, checking up on her at breaks, always worried that she was still suffering the repercussions of what had passed.Making sure she wasn't seconds away from a nervous breakdown.He was wonderful, and everybody said he had a crush on her.A year ago, even a month ago, she would have been elated to hear that.But now, she just wanted to be left alone.

How could he be so ignorant?Hermione told her that Harry's version of their escape featured her being blinded by the bright flash of lightning, her eyes not appreciating such assault after so long of being in the dark.Ignorant, ignorant, _ignorant_.Had he not heard the rasping words of a Death Eater hissing the spell?Had he not heard her scream in pain as she felt the spell virtually burn away her eyes?They were still there, of course, but she knew she could never see again.And who cared, really?What was there to look at?

He amazed her.So famous, a household name for "saving the world".She wanted to laugh out loud.Harry Potter, _Boy_ Wonder.Around her, the males of her peer group had grown and matured into young men.Except for one.Harry may have grown to suit his frame, might have matured physically, but in many ways he has still the boy she had first met.He lost his temper at the smallest thing; he was constantly acting obnoxious and breaking rules.Even Ron had expressed annoyance at his behavior.How had she come to love him? she wondered.

And now, on the first of February, she had finally lost it.Got up in the middle of a group conversation and walked away.Ignored the protests of her friends and family, just walked out of the room without the aid of a guide or a spell.She had walked through countless hallways and corridors, relying on her memories of the school's layout to guide her.The memories, of course, had been given two and a half years to rot, and were less than perfect.

And that was how she had found herself sitting here, at the bottom step of an unfamiliar staircase, feeling more _lost_, literally and figuratively, than she could remember ever feeling before.Wondering how on Earth she would find her way to her dormitory, who would be around to help her get back.She almost laughed out loud.Who was she to call Harry a child, when _she_ spent her time storming out of rooms down hallways she didn't know and couldn't even _see_, just to be free of a conversation?

Ginny started to climb to her feet, though what she meant to do once standing escaped her.Stand around until someone noticed her, she supposed.Tears of frustration stung at the corners of her sightless eyes, and she furiously blinked them away, wiping her face with a sleeve.Finally standing, she grasped the handrail and began to ascend the staircase slowly, one step at a time.She was only a few steps from the top when, suddenly, she heard an amazed voice.

"Ginny?What are you doing here?"

'

A/NI can see your mouse straying to the "next" button!Don't think I can't!Review _first_!


	2. Beautiful Stranger

She whirled around, and lost her balance as she let go of the handrail

Anyone who has read _The Healer_ will know who Ginny's beautiful stranger is, but if you haven't, I suggest you do, upon finishing this.It's a darn good story, considering at that time, I couldn't write…

As usual, all characters belong to J.K. Rowling…

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**Part IIBeautiful Stranger**

She whirled around, and lost her balance as she let go of the handrail.The boy behind her caught her just before she fell, and set her back on her feet."Careful," he said to her, not concerned or scolding, just telling her to be careful."What're you doing here?"

"Who are you?" Ginny gasped, trying to regain her balance.The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn't seem to place it."What do you want?"

She felt the boy turn her to face him, and could almost feel his eyes searching her face."You—you're blind, aren't you?That spell on the way out…"He swore under his breath."I should have seen that coming."

The voice—Goddess, it was familiar…It was the boy who had let she and Harry out of their cell, maybe two months ago!She hadn't seen his face then, it had been covered by the cowl of his long black cloak.She had only heard his rough whisper as he told them to follow, and make no noise until they were well away from the castle.She had lost him when they had been attacked by the sentries.

He continued to talk."They've told you that there's no cure, am I correct?" the boy inquired."For the spell?Because it's dark magic, right?They can't break it."

Ginny squirmed out of his grip."Who are you?" she hissed."How do you know what's happened to me?"

He let go of her, and there was the sound of someone stepping backward into the wall."I was there, Virginia Weasley.I _saw_ what happened to you.I let you out.Didn't Potter tell you who it was that opened the cell door and led you out?"

She shook her head."He didn't tell me anything," she whispered."Who _are _you?"

He didn't answer her question, only asked another."You want to be able to see again, don't you?"

She snorted."Only more than anything."

"I know how to remove the spell," he told her quietly."It was dark magic that placed it on you, and it's dark magic that'll take it off."He paused as she started to back away slowly, feeling with her heel for the edge of the stairs so she wouldn't fall."You'd have to trust me."

"Why would I trust you?" she demanded."I don't even know who you are!"

Ginny could hear him starting to smile."Well, you would know when I took the spell off, wouldn't you?I'm the only one here who is going to be able to help you, Ginny," he said, serious again."If you don't trust me, you'll never find out who I am."

Something brushed her cheek.A hand, she realized with shock.He turned her head to face him."Trust me, Ginny," he whispered."I promise I won't hurt you."

That voice.Something made her want to believe him.And that simple fact alone made her breath catch."If you kill me, or hurt me in any way," she told him, drawing a rattling breath, "I will personally see that you die tomorrow and burn in hell for all eternity."

She could feel his breath on her face, smelling of cinnamon candies.He was very close.She should have been terrified—and she was, sort of—but at the same time she could feel herself beginning to trust this unfamiliar boy who was holding her by the shoulders.

"Ginny," he was barely whispering, now, but she could hear him, close."You know I would never hurt you."

"I do know," she answered shakily."That's what scares me."

"Trust me, Ginny," he told her quietly.

She let out the breath she had been holding.Silently, closing her eyes, she nodded.

His fingers brushed her eyelids lightly, and he murmured a few selected words under his breath.Ginny felt something tingle in the outside corners of her eyes, spreading until her whole eyes seemed to have come alive with maggots.It was disgusting, and it hurt.She cried out, and his hands tightened on her shoulders."It hurts," she whispered, knowing she sounded pathetic and not caring.

"I know," he told her reassuringly."Hold on, it'll be over in a moment."

The pain flared again, and she bit her lip, holding in a scream.Finally, it slowly drained out, and she collapsed into the boy's arms.He held her up patiently, stroking her back, comforting her."Are you all right?" he asked.

She stiffened, and he let her go."I shouldn't have trusted you," she whispered huskily."What did you do to me?_Who are you?_"

"Ginny," he whispered.He touched her eyelids, which were screwed shut."Open your eyes."

Steeling herself, Ginny let her eyes slowly open—and focus on the floor and the laces of her trainers!She could see!She gasped and held her hands before her lowered eyes, looking over them with a critical eye.Finally, she lifted her gaze to thank the boy that had done this for her…

And just about fell over.It was none other than Draco Malfoy, and he was standing in front of her now, a few steps away, hands held casually at his sides, regarding her with a mix of caution and concern.

She felt her eyes widen, then narrow."_You!_"

'

Did I mention that I'm psychic?I can tell when you don't want to review my fics!Tough!Review 'em anyway!If I can put the effort into writing them and putting them up, the least you can do is tell me what you think!


	3. Between Life and Death

Draco looked back at her calmly, but not challenging

Well, whoda thunk it?Draco Malfoy, of all people showing a good side.It takes all kinds of people to make this world…

And, once more, I own no one and no thing associated with Harry Potter…

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**Part IIIBetween Life and Death**

Draco looked back at her calmly, but not challenging.She stared at him, a hand over her mouth, the other pressed into the wall behind her, trying to back away."_Draco?_" she whispered, incredulous."_You_ let me out?I—I mean us… you let us out?"

He sighed and glanced at his feet, looking at loss."Yes," he told her quietly."That was me.I'm surprised you didn't recognize my voice, actually.Ginny—"

He took a step towards her, one hand extended, but she scooted sideways to avoid him."Why?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Why did you do that for us?I know you hate us both.I _know_."She met his eyes again, searching.She had seen his eyes before, but there was something different in them, something she couldn't place.But he definitely looked different.

"I may be the son of one of Lord Voldemort's minions," he said quietly."But that doesn't mean I want to be able to think that there are two people in the cell beside me that are going to get killed if I don't do something."He paused."And I _could_ do something.I know what they planned to do to you, Ginny.Both of you.I—I didn't want to know that it was only happening because I hadn't done something to stop it."

They were both silent, until Ginny said, "You've really changed, haven't you?"He didn't answer."You don't just act different, you look different, too.Like you've—you just look a lot more pleasant."

He smirked, an expression she was much more used to seeing from him."It's been two and a half years," he said."A man can change a lot in two years."

"He _can_," she replied."You _did_.Why?How?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking embarrassed."When you can say that your father beats your mother and yourself, makes your life a living hell, and then tells you that he wants you to learn to be just like him… well—sometimes you'll have an epiphany of sorts."

Ginny narrowed her eyes, still suspicious."Your father works for Lord Voldemort," she told him."He made a fugitive out of me in my first year, and his master made _my_ life a living hell for a few months."

He gave her a withering look."A few months."A sour expression flickered across Draco's pale face."You were fed, you were protected from the elements, and no one touched you."

"And that's more than you can say," she finished quietly for him.

"Exactly."

Once again, they were silent.Ginny started to say something, but quickly closed her mouth when she looked up and saw Draco unbuttoning his robes.She gaped at him as he let them fall to the floor, and then peeled off the white tee shirt that was underneath."Draco, what—"

"Look at this," he cut her off, turning around to show her his back.She gasped.The white flesh on his shoulders and spine was scarred and scabbed with whiplashes.One long, bluish scar traced a long line down his back, directly over his spinal cord.Old bruises mottled his shoulders, and she winced, noticing also that the bottom of his hairline was also the edge of a new gash, just beginning to heal.

"My father did this to me," he said flatly."My father and his friends, and sometimes I even have the honor of getting kicked around by the Dark Lord himself.If I make any noise—cry out, gasp, whimper, swear—they just hit me again."He turned around to face her again, his face hard.She saw for the first time the scar that raked through his eyebrow, a neat little path down the middle.

"Why are you telling me this?" Ginny inquired.

"I have to tell someone," he said heavily, pulling his shirt back over his head.You were just lucky enough to be the person closest to me when I had a spell of wanting to."

She blinked a few times, then reached over and picked his robe up off the floor, handing it to him."Thank you," he said, pulling it on and doing up the clasps at his throat.

"Draco," she said."When you told me you would never hurt me…"

"I meant it," he answered quietly.He took a step towards her, so they were barely an inch apart."Ginny—"

"Don't," she ordered, putting a hand on his chest to hold him back."I don't know if—"She trailed off, staring at the ground."Why are you doing this?Why change now?"

"I told you!" he cried, suddenly angry."I hate my life, OK?There are days when I want to die!When I actually think seriously about jumping out a window or into the lake, or drinking one of Snape's poisons!You have no idea what that's like."He pulled back the sleeve of his robe to reveal wrist and forearm crisscrossed by old and new scars, even some that were still scabbed from recently being opened."I've started cutting myself.Just to see the blood run, just to prove that I'm still alive."He looked at her accusingly."If I'm going to die, I might as well make amends before I go.Hell is that last thing I need just now."

Ginny fought the urge to put her arms and hold him close; she could tell he needed it.But she could also tell that he would never let her.Not now."Why are you telling _me_?"

He sighed and started to walk away."You wouldn't understand."

"I might, if you'd just _tell_ me!"

Then he was right in front of her, his hands were on her shoulders, and his eyes were boring holes through hers.She gasped, and tried to step away from him, startled, but he held her firmly."You want to know?" Draco demanded harshly."Do you want me to tell you?_Do you want me to tell you?_"

Ginny found herself choking on her breath as she tried to look away and found that she couldn't.She wondered briefly if she was dreaming or hallucinating, or if Draco was on drugs.But the look in his eyes quickly dispelled such notions.He looked desperate, hungry, _feral_…

"_Well?_"

She bit her lip as his fingers dug into her shoulders."Please," she whispered."You're hurting me—"

He swore in a language she didn't recognize, and loosened his grip."I—"

Ginny found herself running her hand up chest and neck to tentatively stroke his face.Draco closed his eyes and seemed to sink into her touch, and his hands slid from her shoulders to cup the backs of her elbows, then came to rest just above her hips."Ginny, I've no right to…"He couldn't finish his sentence."You don't understand what—"

"Then tell me."

He opened his eyes and looked at her again, a kind of desperate mischief forming in their silvery depths."You asked for it," he whispered to her.

And then he kissed her.

Ginny's eyes snapped open in shock, but then she closed them and sank into Draco's kiss, snaking her arms around his neck as his wrapped themselves tightly around her waist.He was kissing her _hard_ and it almost hurt, but she decided that she didn't care.She could feel him trying to wring himself out into her, to exorcize the demons that consumed him.His hands drew lines of flame on her back, his mouth the coals of a fire that soon spread to fill her entire body._Goddess,_ she thought weakly._I never thought it could be like this…_

All to soon, Draco tore his lips away from hers, and she opened his eyes to his tortured face."This isn't right," he rasped."_This isn't right…_"

She shushed him with a hand over his mouth."That never bothered you before," she whispered.

"I can't do this to you," he told her harshly."I—I _can't_…"

She made him look at her."Do you want this?" she demanded."Is this what you need?"

He tried to hold her away from him, to keep himself from losing control."Yes," he whispered huskily."_Yes._"

She reached up and took his face between her hands, staring calculatingly at him."What's the reason you don't kill yourself?" she demanded, knowing the answer.

He sighed and closed his eyes again."The hope that one day, I might tell you it was me who let you out, and this might happen."He reached up and held her by the wrists."I didn't think that I'd feel so terrible for doing it."

"You love me, don't you?" she asked, amazed.

"Yes.But you don't love me."

Ginny blinked, startled at Draco's bluntness."No, I don't," she whispered."But—you need me.And for that, I'll learn to."

For the first time that she had ever seen, Draco smiled.

'

Whadaya think?Was I too mean to Draco?I had to beat him down a wee bit to give him a reason to shape up, but I mean really, does he _need_ the whiplashes?Oh well.Ginny will heal him J

Review!


	4. A Diary of Skin

Part IV A Diary of Skin

I was going to leave it at those three chapters, but demand was high for continuation.And so, I decided, "oh what the heck," and wrote up…CHAPTER IV!!!!All hail.

With any luck, ch. IV will give birth to ch. V, wich will give me new ideas further.Here's hoping!

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**Part IVA Diary of Skin**

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That was two months ago.Now, the April sun is just starting to open the flowers that adorned the school, their bright colors cheering even the loneliest hearts.Except one.

I stare out the window in my room, watching emotionlessly as the first rain of the month begins to spatter against the glass, then pound it.The noise of water on the pane is soothing, calming from the violent rage that has been coursing through my blood not long ago.

I will myself not to look at my father's letter, sitting there on the desk before me.I know that laying eyes on it would just reopen my fury, and I have only just smothered it.I have always loved the crazy high that came from being angry, but hated the hollow feeling it left in its wake.I feel that way now.

Ginny would tell me I'm being silly, I know.She would just take the yellowed parchment gently from my hands and set it aflame._That's that,_ she'd say calmly._We don't need to worry about him again until the next letter shows up._Of course, she only sees his letters once a month or so.She doesn't know how they arrive to me nearly every week, that I can _hear_ Father's voice as I read them, silky and dangerous, becoming more and more frustrated with his errant son as he sends each one.She doesn't hear the guilt he pours into me, trying to convince me that his way was the one for me.She doesn't read the threats.

Ginny.Four moths ago, I had finally decided it was time for action, and opened the door to her and Potter's cell, giving them a chance to escape their fate and mine.I know what Father's friends and minions meant to do to her.It made me sick then, and it makes me sick now.I knew I had to do something.I knew that I couldn't let that happen.Not to Ginny.

Potter I didn't care about as much.But if was going to free Ginny, I had to free Potter as well.Ginny would never go willingly on her own, that I knew.Potter had to come.I often find myself wishing now that I had left him there, especially when I look at Ginny during meal times, and see Potter staring at her with as much conviction as I am.She's told me she doesn't like him, doesn't have feelings for him, and I believe her.But I still don't trust him.I know what his juvenile mind is doing behind those too-long bangs and ridiculous glasses.I can see him staging a meeting, a rendezvous; see his clumsy handling of the situation, and of her.I know what he wants.Oh, I know.

Two months.That's how long it's been since I admitted to Ginny that it was me who set her free.Since I fixed her sight and she opened her eyes to see me standing before her.I read the shock and anger on her face when she realized it was me to whom she owed her life, and it hurt.But I can look past that.She forgave me when she registered on what I had done for her, what I had risked for her, when she heard me promise that I meant her no harm.

I remember the gasp she let out when I showed her my scars.I don't know if it was pity for the pain that had caused them, or shock that I had just disrobed from the waist up without a moment's notice.Whatever it was, she was careful with me after that, almost mincing her words, until I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake a straight answer out of her.

I spilled myself to her, and the knowledge that someone finally knew my pain was both satisfying and unnerving.That it was Ginny who now knew my secret only intensified that.She kept asking me why I was telling _her_, and her ignorance made me want to slap her, but I held back.I tried to tell her that it was coincidence that she be around when I decided to say something, but she didn't buy it.She knew there was more to it than that.

I remember her shock when I finally lost control and pulled her to me, when I finally gave in to the sweet obsession that was quickly making itself known inside me.When I kissed her.She had stiffened in my arms, either angry or frightened, but at that point, I no longer cared.I had kissed her with all the strength that I had left in me, trying to make her understand, trying to lose myself in her mouth.I know that she stopped fighting almost immediately, and just let me take her, and the emotions that that knowledge brought up—well, I decided it was time for me to get a hold of myself before things got carried away.

She had been a little dazed when I let her go, but she had a better grip on reality than had I._You love me, don't you?_ She had said finally.

I had flatly agreed, not knowing if I ought to be happy or sad at that knowledge._But you don't love me_.

She had said no, she didn't._I'll learn to_, she promised, and I half believed her.I know she will probably never love me the way I love her, and I don't begrudge her that.She has a lot of bad memories of me to get rid of before she can even begin to see me for what I am.But she said she'd try, and I love her for it.

Two months.Since that day I have spoken to her in passing, and met up with her once by the lake.Always when I see her, I feel my need for her growing, and I can feel that she doesn't love me.It kills me.We don't talk about it, of course.We talk about school, and my father sometimes, and Potter.It's kind of funny the way she can complain about him these days, and sometimes when she's done, it's all I can do to not go and deck the sod for what an idiot he is to her.I don't of course.That wouldn't help anything.

Once again, I stare at the letter in front of me, and for once I take Ginny's advice and throw it in the fire.I haven't even read it yet, but I don't want to._What am I doing?_ I think._I'm renouncing my family and the way I was raised.I'm going to get myself killed, just for a girl who I know doesn't love me?_I feel like I am seceding.In a way, I am.And I know that one day, Father will kill me.Ginny, too, if he finds out about this.Unless I kill him first.

So this is what I have been reduced to.Kill or be killed.Unless, of course, the one I kill is myself, denying Father the pleasure and keeping Ginny safe.I've thought about it before, but—

That feeling of being half dead stirs within me again, and I climb to my feet in disgust, walk the hallways to the closest door that will take me outside.The rain is coming down harder than ever, pounding on my hair and shoulders like hailstones.I watch it make smooth patterns on the lake's surface, the sound of water against water pulling me into a half-trance._It would be so easy,_ I think, watching sticks and litter floating and sinking with the will of the lake.I could jump in right now and free everyone around me of the danger.Just sink like one of those sticks.I sigh and finger the knife at my side, taking it out and staring at the blade.

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm obsessive-compulsive or something, if I have a defect of some sort that makes me think like this.The blade is wet and cool against my arm, and the pain as it bites into my flesh is almost unnoticeable after having done this so much.The rain washes away the blood before I even get to see it, and I shelter my wrist with my other hand, just to see it flow.It dribbles down my arm and pools in my elbow, mixing with the rainwater before it disappears completely.

Why do I do this?I don't know.I wish I did, but I wish a lot of things.I wish that I had a family that I could actually call a family.I wish that I had someone I could call a friend, not just someone who wanted to be popular for knowing me.

And I wish that Ginny could love me.

I carve her name in the sand now with my finger, and watch the rain wash it away.It seems that she is like that.I can't hold onto her, she'd just melt in my arms and flow back to where she belongs.I hold the knife to my other arm this time, and cut a _G_ into the flesh.Maybe someday I'll get a tattoo of her name somewhere on my body, somewhere where no one will see it but me, no one else will see my pain._A diary of skin_.God knows I have one of those. 

'

Review, you unfaithful reader you!I didn't write this for me (OK, I did) I wrote it for you!So make my efforts worthwhile!


	5. He Flows Through the Forest

Part V He Flows Through the Forest

Damn, I'm writing this fast.Of course, now I'm stuck, so that screws things up, but oh well.My buddy darklogick is pissed at me now, cuz we're writing a novel together, and I'm supposed to be writing the novel.Instead, I'm writing this!::Shakes head::Oh, well.This is almost done.

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**Part VHe Flows Through the Forest**

I had told Hermione about what Draco said to me.I felt I needed to tell somebody, and she seemed the most sensible to one to talk to.She listened to me, made interested noises in all the right places.I begged her not to tell Ron.I knew he would kill Draco if he ever found out what had happened between us.Hermione told me she wouldn't lie for me, but promised to never bring it up.

I sit by the fire, staring at it as the flames eat away at the wood, watching the heat reduce what was once part of a mighty pine tree to light gray ashes.Draco told me once that my hair reminded him of the colour of a flame in its closest proximity to the coals—he told me it glowed.Maybe it does, to him.I had a dream, once, that I was in a forest and I could hear him calling me, searching for me in the blackness of the trees.In the dream, I had burned with a painless red fire, and lit his way.

I haven't told him about that dream.I haven't told him about any of the dreams I have of him.The one where I watch him drown in a pool of his own blood; the one where he lies sprawled on his back while a circle of Death Eaters cut bloody graffiti over his pale chest; the one where I watch, helpless, as he shaves off his hair and then peels away his skin, trying to free himself from his shell of hardship and pain.

I never really tell him anything.When I do see him, when he manages to find me alone, where we can talk without being overheard, he does the telling.He tells me about his father, his childhood (or lack thereof), about what he wishes he'd done, what he wishes he could forget he'd ever done…I feel like I know all his secrets—and at the same time, I don't know him at all.

I know he loves me, even if he only ever told me the once.I see the way he stares at me when he thinks I'm not looking.He treats me the way I used to treat my stuffed toys, pouring out his hardships and never expecting me to say anything in return.Once in a while, I intervene to keep him from hurting himself.I don't know _what_ to do.Around Draco, I feel helpless, like I can do nothing to heal him, nothing at all to make him see that the whole world is _not_ cold and dark.So I listen.

I told him that I would learn to love him.But how can I?I don't even know him…

It's starting to clear up outside, and bright sunlight that now pours out of the clouds, contrasting beautifully against the dark gray sky, illuminating the rain into falling diamonds.A rainbow spreads over the lake, and reflects roughly on the lake's surface, slightly distorted by the water that still falls.I start to smile, then turn and scamper out of the dorm, out the door and into the rain.

I love the way the way everything looks right after a storm.The plants glitter, and the air is filled with the fragrant scent of damp soil.It always seemed to me that Earth was breathing a contented sigh, as if she had just taken a luxurious bath or eaten a delicious meal, and was now bursting with fertility.The last of the water rains down on me until I am soaked all the way through the thin cotton of my tee shirt, and I close my eyes and laugh out loud.As far as I am concerned, _this_ is what spring is all about.

I see someone sitting beside the lake, standing up slowly and shoving something—it looks like a knife—into his belt.The sunlight catches the figure's hair as he clambers upright.It shines gold on the pale head… Draco!

"Draco!" I call, starting to jog towards him.He turns and sees me coming, then whirls around and begins running in the opposite direction, towards the Forbidden Forest.I pick up my pace and run after him, still calling his name.

"Dra_co_!"He disappears into the foliage, and I charge after him, twigs, thorns and stray branches tugging at my clothes and tearing tiny holes in them.I finally spot him leaning against a large oak tree, and I slow down as I near him.

"Why are you running?" I demand, breathless."You…"

I trail off as I notice that he is not even trying to listen to me.His right hand covers the inside of his other elbow protectively, and he stares off into the dark trees, as if in a trance.I push my soggy hair off my face, noting distractedly that the humidity has made it go curly again.

Draco finally turns to face me, icy blue eyes giving away nothing of what he is thinking."Why did you follow me?" he asks softly, dangerously.His hand still covers his forearm, and I pull it away.Blood comes off onto my fingers from his wrist, and I turn my palm up to see the weird pattern it makes on my skin.

"You've been cutting yourself again, haven't you?" I demand sharply.I pull back his sleeve, to reveal several new slash marks across his wrist and arm.He says nothing still, just watches me as I run my hand up his arm and back down, then wipe the blood off my fingers onto the grass.

I start to push back the other sleeve of Draco's loose robe, but he yank his arm back."Don't," he warns, but his voice is hesitant and cautious, carrying no threat.I pull him back and slide my fingers under the black fabric, but he pulls away again.

"I said _don't_!"This time his voice is desperate and angry, with me or simply with himself, I don't.This only convinces me to look again.He struggles as I pull his arm back to me a last time, but doesn't put any real effort into it.The flesh on the inside of his left elbow is paler than snow, with tiny blue and purple veins braiding under the translucent skin.It is as cut and scarred as his right, but one new gash in particular draws my attention.

There is a roughly cut _G_ just below his elbow, still red and shiny from being cut open.I gasp and touch it, looking scrutinizing at the thick blood that comes way on my fingertip.Draco doesn't seem to even feel the pain from the gash, but watches me emotionlessly, calculating my reaction.

I let go of him and walk around behind him.He starts when he feels my hands grasp the collar of his robe and yank it roughly off his shoulders.Even under that, his shirt is almost as soaked as mine, becoming more so as water drops down on us still from the trees and the last of the rain.I drop his robe on the forest floor, then turn him around to face me.

"Ginny—" Draco starts to object as I reach around his waist and pull the sheathed knife away from his belt and throw it angrily on the ground.

"What else do you have?" I ask angrily, turning his around again and running my hands over his waistline, his back, his chest, searching for weapons or anything else incriminating."Huh?What are you doing to yourself that you won't tell me about?You might as well let it out, you've told me everything else!"I am surprised at how bitter my voice sounds.Am I mad at Draco for telling me, mad at him for hurting himself, or just mad at myself for never recognizing that this was inevitable?

He finally sighs and grabs my shoulders, holding me away from him, his eyes cold.The effect of his gaze seems to turn all the water on my skin into a film of ice."And why should you care?" he hisses at me."What is it to you whether I bleed or don't bleed?Whether I live or die?Even when I told you _I_ had saved you, I could still see that you hated me.You hate me even now, don't you?"He puts on his familiar smirk."You're just mad at me for involving you in this, for making you feel a fraction of what I feel every day.Well, Ginny, welcome to my life.This is who I am, and if you don't like it, you can leave."

Draco lets me go and starts to walk away."Draco.Draco!"I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly cold, though the air is warm and moist."Draco, wait!Will you just let me talk?"

He slows down, but does not stop or turn around."Why should I?You never have anything to say."His voice is so bitter it's like a slap in the face, and I feel tears stinging the corners of my eyes. 

"Draco, please…"

He turns slightly to look at me, but keeps walking. 

_You love me, don't you?_

_Yes.But you don't love me._

"Do you have something significant to tell me?" he asks silkily."Because if you don't, I'm going to keep walking, and nothing you can do will stop me.Maybe you'll see me again, maybe you won't.Maybe I'll come back to school.Maybe I'll go and join my father, become a Death Eater like he always planned for me to do anyway.Or maybe I'll just go and die, like I've wanted to for years."He met my eyes, and this time I could see him beginning to crack, to show some dependency."So, say something, Ginny.Quick, before, I give up and keep walking."

"Draco…"My voice is soft, but I know Draco has no trouble hearing me.

"Ginny." He starts to turn again, excruciatingly slowly.

"_Draco!_" I cry after him."Please, just listen to me."

He starts walking."What's there to listen to?All you do is tell me my name.I know my name."

"Wait, please!"He keeps walking, and I begin hurrying after him, trying desperately to voice what I want to say.

What comes out surprises me probably more than it surprises him.And yet, I know the words are true even before they pass my lips."Draco—I do.I love you…"Absorbed by my own guilt and frustration, I sink to my knees and sob.I don't even look up to see if he has stopped.I'm not sure I even want to know. 

'

Right here's the deal…I'm thinking of writing a lemon for the next chapter.Not really graphic or anything, just sweet, fluffy lemon (lemon meringue!J ) Whadaya say?I'm not bad at it…

(Note—to get me these responses, you need to review!)


	6. Detonation

Part VI Detonation 

OK, this is where it starts to get racy…I had far too long to think about it, and so I decided that this was the way to go.Damn fanfiction.net, always crashing on me…Well, it seems to be up right now, so you, you lucky dog, get to read.

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**Part VIDetonation **

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She didn't know how long she stayed there, crouched in the loam and mast of the forest floor, staring at her hands in front of her, staring out past the trees, along the path that Draco had walked.Above her, the branches stirred in the gentle breeze, whispering what had happened there, passing the story through the trees.The water continued to drip off the leaves, occasionally landing on her shoulders and head to mingle with the rain already seeping through her tee shirt and hair.

Ginny drew a hand across her eyes, wondering if the liquid there was the result of tears or rain.Her whole body ached, as though she had been sitting there for hours, while in reality she knew it had only been a few minutes.She was torn between wanting to give up on everything and just let Draco live his life as he pleased, and wanting to jump to her feet and tear after him.Even now, even after she had told him outright that she did love him, he didn't seem to believe her.The way he just turned and walked away told her as much.But what could she do?He was gone, now.

She knew she had to try.The more time she wasted sitting there on the forest floor, the less time she had to change Draco's mind.

Ginny climbed to her feet, wincing as her muscles protested.She was amazed at how fast the forest had cooled off as the sun had sank beneath the horizon.She shivered as the crisp spring breeze nipped at her skin through her damp clothes, and began to walk the path that Draco had blazed in his haste to leave the scene.How could she possibly be so calm? she wondered.Draco had said that he might not come back, that he might just _die_…

She quickened her pace, finally breaking into a sprint as the calm was taken over by an odd sense of determination, and the knowledge that she was running short on time.The branched whipped past her, occasionally catching on her clothes, slowing her down, which only made speed up.The deeper she went into the foliage, the darker it became, and she began to feel that she would never find him.How had he gotten so far in such a short time?

The sun finally disappeared, and the only light in the forest was the silvery full moon that was just making itself known above the tips of the trees.Behind her, somewhere, the torches and fires of Hogwarts castle burned through the night, but she could no longer see them.

Ginny didn't notice the root that was protruding from the round until it was too late, and her foot made direct contact with it, sending her crashing to the ground.She hit the soil hard, the air rushing out of her lungs with the impact, and she groaned and raised her head, beginning to get back up—

—And saw Draco sitting just ahead, his back to her, knees drawn to his chest, hunched over as though his shirt were made of the heaviest lead.She jumped to her feet instantly, then regretted the action as her head swam and her vision threatened to go black.She put a hand to her temple and tried to even her breath, then took a step forward and extended a hand towards Draco's shoulder, quietly whispering his name.

He didn't seem to hear her, and Ginny walked around so she was standing in front of him, and looked down at his still form.He had his arms wrapped tightly around his legs, face buried between his knees.She could just barely hear his breathing, quiet and even, but ragged.She bit her lip and knelt down before him, reaching out to touch his hair.

Draco's head snapped up as soon as her fingers brushed the top of his head.Even in the darkness, Ginny could see that he was crying, albeit silently.The silvery eyes that matched his hair were rimmed with red, and his face was streaked with tears.He looked shocked to see her there in front of him, and he reached out a hand to grasp her arm, as though he couldn't believe she was real."Ginny?"

"It's me," she whispered, letting her hands settle on his hair, then his face."Why did you run?I meant what I said."All her fear and anxiety was gone now, replaced by the need to heal this dying boy before her.She could almost feel him giving up; feel his faith slipping out of his body under her hand.

He let go of her and stared at the ground."How could I believe you?" he finally sighed."Why would you love me?Why would anyone?There's nothing in me left to love."

"That's not true," Ginny countered."I may not have a good explanation as to why I love you, but I do.That much I know."He met her gaze again, and she wanted to cry at the desperation she saw in his eyes."Don't you see?_I love you_."

She had put as much conviction as she could into that final sentence, desperate to convince him.Draco closed his eyes again, climbing unsteadily to his feet, and Ginny straightened with him.He held her by the shoulders, looking down at her appraisingly, as though trying to decide whether or not he wanted to take her words as truth.

"I want to believe you," he whispered finally."It's just—I've always been a jackass, especially to you.Ginny…"He paused and stared at her, chewing on his lower lip."I don't know why you would lie about something like this, or what you think you could get out of it—"

He choked and stared at the ground again, and Ginny let her hands wrap around his wrists, then slid up his arms to touch his shoulders.He looked back at her, the uncertainty in his eyes replaced with a feverish hunger that made her gasp.

"Ginny—"Draco's voice came out as a rasp, and he slid his hands down the sides of her body to rest at her waist."I…I love you, too, you know.Maybe you think that I'm not capable of loving anybody, but I do.I know this is crazy, but—I do love you… with all there is left in me for loving."

She felt tears stinging the corners of her eyes, and she blinked, trying to hold them in.One of Draco's hands came back up to touch her cheek, brushing across her eyelid and coming away damp.He sighed and traced his finger down the bridge of her nose, leaving a salty wet trail.Ginny reached out and wrapped her hand around his, her fingers interlocking with his own.Draco met her gaze once more, his eyes betraying the level of passion and desire that she had ignited with in him.

He was so close now that she could feel his breath on her face, warm against her cheek, smelling of cinnamon again.Ginny's cheeks tickled as his eyelashes brushed against them, and her lids fell shut as he finally leaned in the last few inches and touched his lips to hers.

He had only kissed her the once, before, and that kiss had been fiery, hard and desperate.But this—this was sweet.Draco's arms and hands around her body were gentle, obviously afraid to scare her away.His mouth on hers was barely even there—just touching.Ginny let go his hand that she had been grasping and let her own hand slide back up his arm and come to rest just below his shoulder.He made a noise when he felt her touch his chest, something between a growl and a moan, and very suddenly he tightened his grip around her, pulling her snugly against him.

Ginny caught her breath when their bodies finally made direct contact, and again when she felt Draco lightly run his tongue over her bottom lip, her upper lip, and come to rest at the corner of her mouth.She let her jaw relax, and he took the reaction as consent, sliding his tongue through her lips and into her mouth.But even then, he was cautious, slow, charting her reactions very carefully.She finally relaxed completely, and met one of his thrusts, the tip of her tongue touching his.

_Oh, Goddess,_ Ginny thought weakly as Draco moved his mouth over hers._Why did I avoid this for so long?_It made her wish she had said something to Draco earlier, if this was the result.Her hands seemed to have developed a mind of their own, gliding softly up and down his arms, over his chest and shoulders, around his neck and through his hair, and back again.She could feel him tensing under her touch, and his own arms tightened around her waist and shoulders.Each times their tongues met and danced, she felt something within herself opening up to him.Arms around his neck, she tightened her grasp, and gasped against Draco's lips as one of his hands ran around to the front of her neck, stopping just at the collar of her tee shirt, then went lower.

"Are you all right?" Draco whispered huskily in her ear when she froze."I'll stop, if you want."

He had taken his hand away from her body, and she was surprised at how she missed its presence almost instantly."I—I'm all right," she gasped."Don't stop—"

He cut her off by sealing his mouth over hers again, replacing his hand on her shoulder, then sliding it down to her hip.He tore his mouth away, trailing his lips down the side of her face to her neck.Ginny let out a moan-like breath as he kissed her under her ear, wrapping one arm tightly around her ribcage, and anchoring his other hand on the back of her neck, playing with her hair.One of her hands rubbed his neck, then managed to work its way under the collar of his robes and shirt, brushing lightly against his bare back, surprising them both.

Draco lifted his head from her shoulder and put a hand to her cheek, turning her face to look at him."Gin, you know what I want…" he began, his voice little more than a gasp.

She jumped when the realization hit her, and stiffened in his arms.He loosened his grip on her, and tried to step back."No," she ordered, holding him there, trying to catch her breath."I know what you want, Draco.I just—"_I'm losing the battle here,_ she thought incoherently._And I don't even care…_She relaxed, and pulled him back."I love you, Draco, I really do."

She knew she sounded mad, but by that point it no longer mattered.She only wanted to say what she felt._How can I?_I_ don't even know what I want…_Ginny opened her eyes and looked at Draco, desperately trying to communicate.His gray eyes watched her carefully, staring back into hers like two silver laser beams.He shakily stroked her cheek with his fingertips, and pushed back the stray hair that had fallen into her eyes.His breath was as ragged as her own, but he kept a hold on himself.

His eyes said all she needed to hear.Without saying a word, Ginny nodded, pulling Draco back and shivering as his arms wound around her body.He kissed her again, exploring her mouth like he needed to memorize everything.As her fingers found and undid the clasp to his robes, as it slipped off his shoulders and fell unheeded to the ground, Ginny new that she was being incredibly stupid.There was so much that could go wrong in a situation like this, not to mention the fact that they were standing in the middle of the Forbidden Forest in the black of night.

But as Draco kissed her, as he worked his hands up the back of her shirt to caress the sensitive skin of her back, as he pulled her down to kneel before him, she knew that she couldn't have fought this if she'd wanted to.

She didn't want to.

'

The next chapter WILL BE A LEMON!I promise not to go all disgusting-monkey-sex on you, that kind of thing only annoys me, but it will be rated higher, and intended for a more mature audience.Just a warning.

Now quit scowling and review!


	7. Burning With the Coals

Part VII Burning With the Coals

OK, here goes Crescent's first ever attempt at lemon!It turned out a little less fluffy than I thought it was going to be, but still not bad.Down with crazy-monkey lemons!Up with sweet and fluffy!It got fluffy at the end.

This may be considered NC-17, but I'm only putting it as R.If this kind of stuff bothers you, skip this chapter and go on to the next one.If you are going to read it, don't flame me.However, if you think it should be rated higher, let me know.

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**Part VIIBurning With the Coals**

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_Madness,_ Draco thought incoherently as Ginny's nimble—if shaky—fingers worked their way down the front of his shirt, working the buttons free and pushing the shirt off his shoulders._Insanity._His head spun as she ran her hands lightly up his bare chest and around his neck.His own fingers tangled in her beautiful flame-coloured hair, and he pulled her closer to him, probing her mouth with an insatiable tongue._Lunacy._

He knew it was crazy, stupid, impossible even.Part of his mind thought it was all a dream, and he kept expecting to wake up suddenly, with a house-elf standing over him._Master Draco, Master Draco!I is bringing you your tea!Mistress Malfoy says to Dobby that it is time for Master Draco to get up!_ But at the same time, it felt so very real.And, God, the feel of her hands on his chest, her mouth under his—he didn't think he would have been able to just think that up out of speculation.

Finally impatient with such irrelevant thoughts, he put it out of his mind.Without his noticing, Draco's hands had worked their way under Ginny's shirt and were now softly gliding over her back, tracing the lines of her shoulder blades and ribs.Now he let his fingers catch on the hem of the garment, and slowly peeled it away from her damp skin.Ginny broke away from him to let the shirt pass, lifting her arms as he pulled it over her head.

He tossed the shirt carelessly to the ground, running his hands up her arms and over her shoulders, kissing her again.His mouth drew a path from her mouth to where his hand had been.He kissed her shoulder and the side of her neck, then turned his attention to the hollow at the base of her throat.Ginny pressed her face against his hair and clung to him, drawing and releasing shuddering breaths that stirred his hair and danced over his ears and neck, making him shiver.Her hands skated over his shoulders and back, then up his chest.

Ginny pulled Draco back up to her mouth again, and he ran his tongue over the lines of her teeth, sitting down and then falling to lie on his side, pulling Ginny down beside him.She rested her head on his outstretched arm, winding the her own arm his neck and moaning against his mouth as his other hand found its way under the waistband of her shorts and pushed them down her legs.He traced a path back up her ankle and calf, over her knee and past her thigh, coming to rest on her hip.

His breath caught when Ginny threw one leg over his hip and squirmed in his grip.Her hands were fumbling with the fly of his jeans, and he pulled away and buried his face in her soft hair as she finally got them undone and pushed them down.Once they got past his knees, Draco kicked them away, snaking his arms around her waist and pulling her onto his chest.He found the clasp of her bra, pulling it apart and sliding the delicate garment off her shoulders.She pulled him to her, and a moan escaped his lips as their skin burned together.His hands roamed her back and sides as she laid kisses over his scarred shoulders and chest.

"Oh, God, Ginny," he choked out, the first words either of them had managed.She brushed her lips over a long gash that ran over his collarbone, making him gasp, then retraced the path with her tongue.He whispered her name almost silently, sliding his fingers under the edges of her panties and pushing them off her.She was kissing back up his neck, now, and he caught her face between his hands and pulled her mouth to his, rolling them back to their sides.

Ginny wrapped her leg around his again, gasping against Draco's lips when she felt his arousal against her hip.He pulled her even closer, his other hand grazing her collarbone and slowly trailing lower.He carefully traced the smooth curve of her breast with his fingertips.Her arm tightened on his back, and she pressed against him, her tongue heatedly seeking his as he touched her.

"Draco," Ginny rasped when he drew away from her mouth to lay a trail of hot kisses down the side of her neck to her shoulder.The sound of her quiet, passion-drunk voice teased his ears, and he moaned against her skin when he felt her hand drift around from his back to his stomach, her nails cutting paths of fire over his side.Draco kissed her again, and then used his tongue to draw a line from her mouth to her sternum.

Ginny started to say something, but all that escaped her lips was a ragged moan.Draco's hands ran all over her back and sides, his mouth worshipping her breasts, his breath hot against her skin.He could feel her fingers dancing all over his body, touching anything and everything that was in reach.Inhaling sharply when he noticed her hands at his boxers, Draco stretched up and kissed Ginny's mouth again as she shoved the undergarments off him.This time it was she who pulled away and returned her attention to his chest, finding and tracing each and every single scar he possessed with her tongue, an action that made his already short breath even more difficult to maintain.

Ginny's hands were at his stomach again, and then lower, working down to brush gentle fingers against his manhood.He groaned and his hips jerked forward.She touched him carefully, curiously, her mouth working at his shoulder, now.Draco shakily wrapped one arm around her neck, his hand brushing down the side of her face, while his other hand braced itself against the ground, and he pushed himself over and rolled on top of her.

Ginny wrapped her arms around his neck, and she pulled him down to her, kissing him.He balanced himself carefully on his elbows, breaking away from her mouth to press his lips all over her face and throat.Her hands stroked paths of fire on everything she could touch, and Draco let his fingers toy with her hair.Each time either of them moved, the friction of their bodies brought him ever closer to losing his control—or what was left of it.He shifted over her, and his erection scraped over her leg, making them both jump.

Draco pulled away from her, shifting his weight onto one arm and reaching with the other to push Ginny's hair off her wet forehead.His breath came in rough gasps, and he somehow managed to make his vocal cords work.

"You're sure about this?" he whispered huskily to Ginny, his hand resting at her hairline.

She gazed back up at him with eyes that were slightly unfocused."I'm sure," she said quietly."Terrified, but sure."

He bit his lip.She was so innocent, so _pure_, that he instantly felt as though he was vandalizing her, somehow.Her hand on his face brought him back to the moment at hand, and Ginny's voice whispering, "Draco, please," reached his ears.

_My head will roll for this,_ he thought ruefully.But he found he didn't care anymore.Ginny was running her hands over him again, squirming, trying to get closer to him.Draco sighed and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, moving to settle his hips over hers.Very, very slowly, he sank into her, holding back as much as possible, to let Ginny get used to the feeling.

She let out a gasp of pain and he froze, but she shook her head against his neck and wrapped her arm around the small of his back, pushing him the rest of the way.Draco pressed his face to her hair—God, her beautiful hair—and, with a groan he felt more than he heard, he was completely inside her.

For a long moment, neither of them moved.He could feel Ginny's breath against his shoulder, short and sharp, and he somehow managed to raise himself up and look at her face."Are you OK?" he asked her hoarsely.She nodded, biting her lip, and he leaned down and kissed her gently on the mouth, then more forcefully, beginning to move within her.

Ginny moaned against his lips, snaking her arms around his neck and tilting her hips.Draco pulled away from her mouth and buried his face in her hair, watching dazedly as an array of fireworks exploded in his vision.He thrust into her feverishly, his breath dampening her already wet hair, and she clung to his back, hands slipping from the sweat, her fingernails leaving tiny imprints on his back.She was whispering his name hoarsely, moaning it, and he kissed her neck, whispering, "Ginny…Oh, Gods, Gin—"

He could feel himself nearing his climax, and the sound of Ginny's breaths getting fasted and shorter told him that she was close as well.He snaked his arms around her, pulling her up against him, and thrust one last time before exploding into her.

Ginny gave a hoarse scream as he collapsed heavily into her arms, and became completely still in his grasp, then going limp, whispering his name weakly.Draco noticed this distractedly, but was more absorbed with the knowledge that this state was quite possibly the polar opposite of any curse he had ever been under.He didn't think that such ecstasy was possible._I'm dead,_ he thought crazily._And this is heaven at its best…_

Slowly, reluctantly, Draco let his mind swim back to reality.Ginny was softly running her fingers through his hair.He kissed a path up her shoulder and her neck, finally gently pressing his lips to hers.When he pulled away, he saw that there were tears in her eyes, and he brushed them reverently away with a finger, biting his lip.

"I'm sorry, Gin," he whispered.

Ginny touched his face, stroking his cheekbones with her thumbs."No," she said quietly."I love you, Draco."

He allowed a shaky smile, close to tears himself."I love you, too," he told her, kissing her lips before settling his head on her chest and closing his eyes."Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."She shifted under him, getting comfortable, and stroked his hair.Very faintly, Draco could feel Ginny's heart beating against his cheek and he reached up and let his hand rest on her neck.Drained as he was, he knew that he had never before in his life felt more alive than he did then.Finally, he let him consciousness slip from his grasp, and drifted to sleep.

'

Not too bad, eh?Isn't Draco a sweetie?Who'da thought he had it in him?Well anyway, review, if you please, so I can gain the confidence needed to write chapter 8.WARNING: Part VIII _will_ be sweet and fluffy and will likely give you a toothache (Isn't that the best kind?)


	8. Forest Morning

Part VIII Forest Morning

Might I now take the opportunity to say a big thank you to w&m_law, who not only writes some of the best D/G around, not only left me many positive, ego boosting reviews, she has also recommended this unworthy fic to at least one other person, who also left me stellar reviews.(note:I am now beaming with delight…)

I know lots of other people who write D/G fics review me, too, and love you all, but just that she is one of my absolute fave authors, and well, I just thought, "hey, if she says they're good, they must be good!"

Right then…break out the toothpaste, this chapter is so sweet and fluffly it will rot your teeth right out of your jaw.

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**Part VIIIForest Morning**

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I woke up on my side, my face against a white shoulder, arms wrapped around a white neck, with a luscious musk scent making itself known to my nose.I opened my eyes slowly, trying to stay asleep, trying to submerge myself in the scanty memory of a beautiful dream.Finally, my lids opened fully, and my eyes registered on the sight of Draco beside me.

Instantly, everything that had happened the night came back to me—seeing Draco, running after him, watching him walk away, chasing him down… _oh, Goddess_, making love to him…I almost jumped to my feet and started dancing around insanely right there, but the bliss of Draco's arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders kept me where I was.I lay beside him, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath he took, and moved closer to him, tucking my head under his chin.

Draco stirred, and I felt him waking up.He stiffened when his brain registered on the situation, then relaxed, touching my hair gently.He pushed himself up on one elbow to look at me—he thought I was still asleep—and I rolled onto my back and smiled at his dazed expression.

"Gin," he whispered, noticing that my eyes were open.He touched my face softly with his thumb."I didn't know you were awake."

I shifted, hooking an arm around his neck and pulling him back down, shivering pleasantly as he slid him arms around me again, pulling me against him."I thought I had dreamed that," I said quietly."You should have seen my face when I woke up to see you beside me."

Draco grinned."And starkers, no less.I wish I had."

I kissed his lips gently."You're very cheerful, for someone who was contemplating suicide not so long ago."He winced at the jibe, and I smiled and pushed still-damp hair out of his face."You're not going to get up and walk away again, are you?"

He pulled me even closer, one of his hands massaging the back of my neck."Not unless you decide you're coming with me."

I sighed contentedly and snuggled up to him."I'm not going anywhere," I said stubbornly."I'm quiet comfortable, thank you."

He whispered something unintelligible into my neck."Hmm?" I managed, tilting my head back as he began to kiss the flesh under my ear.

"I said… as you… should be…" he explained between kisses."We… should really… be getting… back."Draco pulled away to look in my eyes, his eyes warm and passionate, though calmer than they had been the night before."Beautiful," he whispered, more to himself than to me."You know I love you, don't you?"

"I don't know _why_ you do," I replied, kissing his lips again, and moaning when his mouth quickly opened mine.I pulled back to finish my sentence."But I know you do."

He caught my mouth again, his tongue making me go weak—I was glad I was already lying down."You still love me?"

I scoffed."Do I still love you?"I pretended to be disgusted at the thought."What a stupid question.Of course I do!"

"Just double checking," Draco explained, smiling at me with such warmth that my insides turned to mush."And I'll keep checking, too, see if I don't."

For a long time, we said nothing; just lay in each other's arms, enjoying the peace of the forest."It's getting late," I said finally, starting to sit up."Everyone will be getting out of bed soon.We have to get back."

He tried to pull me back down."Who cares?" he demanded groggily."Let them find us.It'll save having to make detailed explanations later on."

"_Draco_," I said warningly, and he sighed and sat up, reaching for his boxers and pulling them on.I pulled my shorts over my panties, and tried to do up my bra to no avail.

"Here," he whispered into my shoulder, doing up the clasp for me and kissing the back of my neck softly.I sighed and pulled my shirt over my head as he wrestled his jeans into place, then draped his cloak over his shoulders without bothering with the shirt.I shook my head and picked the discarded garment up, holding it out to him.Draco sighed and stuffed the shirt into his pocket.

We finally stood up and faced each other, sizing each other up affectionately.I stood about as high as his nose, so I had to tilt my head back to get a good look at him, but that didn't matter.Draco bent down and pressed a kiss between my eyebrows, then wrapped me up in his arms.I rested my head on his shoulder, inhaling his scent, rubbing my cheek against the bare skin that had exposed itself from under his haphazardly tied robes.

"How are we going to keep this a secret?" he finally inquired.

"Very carefully," I replied, taking his hand and beginning to walk back to the castle. He smiled at me and squeezed my hand, interlocking his fingers with my own."I won't be able to pretend to hate you," I admitted."But maybe if we just avoid each other like we did before…"

"And if I need to talk to you?" Draco asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged."Just run of and threaten to kill yourself again.I'll follow."

He smirked."There has to be an easier way.All that running…"

We finally reached the door to one of the secret passageways that Fred and George had showed me in my first year at Hogwarts (they said that I was the only one they could trust to keep it a secret—Ron could wait to learn).Draco said nothing, only grinned when I lead him inside.When we got to the other end—which was directly at the foot of the stairs to the Gryffindor tower, he let go of my hand and stepped back.

"This is where I disappear," he said quietly.

I sighed and kissed him."You can send me letters," I whispered."Just don't use school owls, and don't sign your own name."He nodded, then pulled me back and kissed me again, more forcefully, this time, like he was putting a claim on me, making sure I, and everyone knew I was his.

He needn't have bothered.I kissed him back just as passionately, running my hands up his arms and around his neck, making him catch his breath."I love you, Draco," I told him firmly."Now scram, before we get caught."

Draco grinned winningly at me, then pulled himself back and walked away calmly.I envied his control—it was taking all my strength to just stay standing there, let alone walking away like nothing was different.He would be able to pull this off better than I would, I realized.

_Oh well,_ I thought happily._This is crazy and you'll get into big trouble for it someday, but it's worth it._

Draco turned around once, just as he neared the turnoff to the Slytherin dungeons, to see Ginny staring after him, her face lit by a brilliant smile.He grinned, laughed happily, and faced his destination again._This is life,_ he told himself._This is where I am supposed to be._

'

In'nit cute?Actually, now I'm stuck, so any suggestions will be welcomed, should any of you have any brilliant ideas…

Review, _sil vous plais…_did I spell that right?


	9. Promises Made

Part IX Promises Made 

The big finale, with fireworks and everything.OK, maybe not fireworks.I'd have to get a fire permit for that, and well, it was just too much work, and the line was already way too long, and I'd already missed one bus, so I decided to skip the roman candles and just wow you with prose.

** **

**Part IXPromises Made **

** **

_I know that you love me.I see it in you eyes when you look at me, I feel it when you hold me.This bond is something that cannot be broken by anything in this world, or by anything in any other world.We will always be together, in this life, and any that come after._

**When you are beside me, I can feel my worries melting away like snow in March.It runs away from me in tiny rivulets, like the blood that once flowed from my veins into the world, before you.Before you came and put my life back together, healed me.You can close a wound by touching me, erase the pain by looking at me with your beautiful eyes.**

_Sometimes I wonder what I owe for you.Who do I need to pay back for the privilege of being with you?What did I do to deserve your love?_

**How can you love me?How is it that you can know everything about me, and still love me?I have committed so many sins, so many wrongs, I deserve nothing of this kind.But still, you speak to me, you kiss me, you hold me, you love me like I hadn't known was possible.Especially not for me.I deserve none of this.**

_I see the doubt building in your eyes.You don't think I should be with you.I know, you told me, once.You should be dancing through the trees with silver wings between your shoulders, you said.You shouldn't be here with the demon that is me.But what can I do?Could I leave if I wanted to?Would you let me walk away?_

**Could I let you leave me?Gods help me, I don't know if I could.Could I just sit and watch as you turned your back on me and walked away, your hand held tightly in another's?I don't want to think about that.Oh, God, what would I do without you? **

_I remember watching myself dream of you, struggling against my own subconscious to break free of my restraints and go to you.Were those my hallucinations or your nightmares?Whose pain was did I feel?_

**Before you, I had an immunity built up to pain and suffering.I could walk through a battlefield and not hear the cries of pain, not see the blood.I could open gashes in my own flesh and not feel the agony.But now all I have to do is see a homeless man in a village, begging for a little money to pay for food for his children, and suddenly the world is at the edge of ending.I lost all the shields I ever had.**

_You used to be so guarded.I could look at you and have no idea what you were thinking.Now all I have to do is met your eyes and I know everything about you.What happened to you?What caused this metamorphosis?What turned you from an icy cold mystery into this silvery angel?_

**Savior.Goddess.Fairy.Enchantress.Healer.My ruin, my death, my downfall.My life, my love, my birth.Beautiful and ethereal, you complete me.Bewitching and deadly, you are every inch a reminder of what will happen to me if I ever hurt you.I could never hurt you.**

_You guard my sleep like a crouching panther, cocked and tense, ready to tear anything that dares disturb our love to pieces.You are my armor.I need not fear when you are with me.I know that you would never let anything happen to me.My beautiful warrior, poised and dangerous to the outside world.Do you let your shields down for no one but me?Am I the only one who will ever see the warmth in your eyes?Will I be the only person on this earth who will ever know you for who you truly are?_

**You come to me now, your arms winding around my neck, your lips opening under mine, your taste filling my mouth and making my head spin.**

_You hold me tightly against your chest, your lips branding my skin with your mark.Why?I know I belong only to you…_

**Never leave me, angel.I'll die, I swear I will.Only you can heal me.Only you can save me.**

_I'll never leave you, my silvery warrior.Who would I be without your love?How long could I survive without you?_

**_But that doesn't matter, now.All that matters is your hands on my skin, your mouth against mine, the love building between us, within us, around us.And we know that it's true.We know we will leave.With every strand of being within me, I hold you.With all I am, I love you.And I will never, ever let you go…_**

**_ _**

**_~Finis~_**

So that's it.The dramatic conclusion to the amazing fic that won me more reviews than I know how to handle, and accolades from so many terrific authors (beams happily, blinding nearby family members with the light from her wide smile).So big, huge, titanic, massive, gargantuan thank yous to everyone who reviewed this with anything positive.Bullocks to anyone who flamed me (or was planning to—don't bother, I'll just laugh).Actually, I don't think anyone _did_ flame me…

And I am now officially taking a break from fanfiction again, concentrating on my novel (* cough * yeah * cough * right * cough *).Never fear, my friends, I have a brand new wacky story simmering in the back of my brain, featuring Professor Severus Snape and a new, crazy, bloodthirsty character of my own creation.Keep an eye out for it.


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